For the record.
An open archive of things we would rather you didn't think about. All the news that's fit to approve.
Nothing to hide.
Several things to redact.
The documents below do not exist.
Click to read them.
Why Kale Is The Most Important Discovery Since Fire
A peer-reviewed opinion piece on why kale should be considered humanity's greatest achievement. Yes, including the wheel.
10 Signs Your Family Isn't Eating Enough Kale
A helpful checklist for concerned parents, partners, and household kale compliance officers.
How To Introduce Kale To Skeptics (A Field Guide)
A compassionate, step-by-step approach to converting the kale-resistant. Includes the official Kale Readiness Scale.
The Truth About Kale: Addressing The So-Called "Conspiracy"
Our Chief Legal Officer addresses the baseless allegations circulating on certain social media platforms. He is calm.
Kale In Schools: Why Your Children Deserve Better
A bold proposal to integrate kale into every aspect of the American education system.
From Garnish to Glory: The Kale Journey
A look back at kale's remarkable transformation from forgotten garnish to $9 superfood. This is a celebration, not a confession.
They have the leaf.
You have the shirt.
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